College Prep · Student writing
See what your classmates make possible with a sentence.
Read an excerpt, notice the writer’s choice, then try the move in your own response.
Week 10 · Poverty, honesty, and help
Excerpts use the students’ original wording. Numbered notes show a writing choice worth trying.
01 · A clear claim
When junior’s secret is shared1 his thoughts of everyone turning against him or leaving him turned out to be false2.
Try this move Answer the aim in one sentence. Name the change or judgment that the rest of your response will explain.
Return to the scene · Alexie 127 →02 · An appositive with a purpose
Junior, a spokane Indian teenager struggling between two economically unequal communities1, allows his classmates to assume he has money because he desperately desires acceptance2.
TEACHER CONNECTION
Look at one excuse in the cartoon. How does the marked appositive in the student excerpt help explain why Junior wants to hide his poverty?
Chapter 17 · Printed page 120 · Read in context →
Title: “How to Pretend You're Not Poor.” Selected speech bubbles: “I'm not hungry anyway…”; “I'm OLD SCHOOL.”; “There's this INDIAN CEREMONY at home…”
The cartoon supplies a scene to test against the writer’s sentence. In your own response, use an appositive to add information that helps explain a character’s choice.
Try this move Add an appositive that helps your reader understand why a person’s action matters. Check the commas on both sides.
Return to the scene · Alexie 119 →03 · A useful contrast
His family, the people who support him1, may not have much money, but that does not mean he should be ashamed of them2.
Try this move Find two details that seem to pull in different directions. Join them with a connector that makes their relationship clear.
Return to the scene · Alexie 119 →04 · Expectation → reality
After he tells her this he thinks she will break up with him1, but she kissed him instead2. He was suprised that an individual didn’t actually judge him because he was poor3.
TEACHER CONNECTION
Which response would let Junior keep hiding? How does the student excerpt move from his fear to Penelope’s actual response?
Chapter 17 · Printed page 128 · Read in context →
Heading: “Are You Poor?” “POSSIBLE RESPONSES:” Selected responses: “No.”; “Yes.”; “Yes, I have many.”; “LOOK OVER THERE!”; “Run away!”
The possible answers make the pressure before Junior’s admission visible. The student excerpt shows a useful writing move: compare what a character expects with what someone actually does.
Try this move Pair a character’s expectation with the action that confirms or challenges it. Then explain what the character learns.
Return to the scene · Alexie 127 →05 · From an action to its consequence
This quote shows how Roger’s help continues for Junior even after lending him 40 dollars1 at the winter formal. This also helps Junior solve a repetitive problem that he has of transportation2 because now Roger, Junior’s reliable friend3, can help him with transportation.
TEACHER CONNECTION
Look back at this earlier travel pattern. How does the student’s explanation of Roger’s repeated rides name a problem the help addresses?
Chapter 12 · Printed page 88 · Read in context →
Title: “Junior Gets to School.” Selected captions: “No gas money.”; “I hitchhike.”; “Walk home; watch TV.” Final caption: “NEXT WEEK: Start over (but in a different order!)”
This earlier cartoon is a teacher-selected comparison for reading the excerpt. It shows the transportation difficulty; the student’s own words explain why continuing help matters.
Try this move After describing a helpful action, explain the problem it addresses. Ask: What becomes different for Junior because this person acts?
Return to the scene · Alexie 129 →